On silence.


I grew up with a lot of noise. My mother has a vivacious personality so I grew up with 500 of her closest friends, who were constantly clucking about one thing or the other. Her side of the family is also a tapestry of colorful personalities so even if nothing interesting was happening, it was just loud.

Fast forward to my teen years and I became my mother’s son. I was also talkative, lively, and cheerful. I can’t remember, but there was maybe a time when I couldn’t stop talking because I feared lulls in the conversation, as if pregnant pauses would give birth to awkwardness when left to idle for too long.

Read More

Today in bullets

  • Woke up feeling so lazy to go to work because I had a meeting last night that stretched until 10PM, and then I had to research on topics for this week’s Supreme.
  • Had a luxurious bath using the French lavender soap from Lotus Bloom. It is locally made.
  • My perfume for the day is Davidoff’s Cool Water.
  • Went to work.
  • Edited the program of an expo our client is having.
  • Had a brief meeting with the editorial director to discuss my progress. So far, so good.
  • Had a mango blended yogurt drink from Fruitas, which somehow calmed me down.
  • Around afternoon, my mind went blank because I haven’t gotten any rest.
  • Attempted to write a press release for an event next week.
  • Realized that you should never buy perfume when you’re in a terrible mood. The power of smell is really powerful, and you tend to remember the things that happened when you smell a scent for the first time.
  • Rubbed some of Aromateria’s Sherlock solid perfume on my pulse points. Lifted my spirits because I bought it right after watching Sa Wakas and meeting Fred Lo.
  • Sherlock contains the essence of bergamot, patchouli, oakmoss, basil, and cedarwood. It’s a masculine and woody fragrance.
  • Waited for nothing.
  • Went home.
  • Read bits of Twisted 7 by Jessica Zafra.
  • Realized that I haven’t seen any movie for the past week.
  • Attempted to write my column.
  • My lotion for tonight is Bath & Body Works’ Twilight Woods.
  • Had a glass of wine.
  • Watched bits of Madonna’s Celebration: The Video Collection.
  • Still attempting to write my column.

Are bloggers too united?

These days, it isn’t surprising to see bloggers sitting in front row seats at fashion shows, gracing magazine covers, or appearing in mainstream media as legit forms of celebrity and influencer. Case in point: Bryanboy. The self-styled Filipino blogger now has a judging stint at America’s Next Top Model, among other projects I’m sure you have heard countless of times.

Read More

On bath houses in Manila

Recently, I blogged about the Manila heat. I wrote that the heat can be so terrible that it’s enough to drive anyone mad. When I was in college, we studied about how the climate can affect one’s temperament. People who live in cold climates are more hardworking, while those who live in the tropics tend to be more relaxed and lazy. It makes sense, though I have no idea how it relates to what I’m going to say.

Read More

Feels like insomnia

It’s 4am and I’m still awake. Under normal circumstances this would be the time when I finally doze off after tossing and turning for many hours. But I have to go to the head office of Generika (the pharmacy) to apply for my internship so I’m cutting out sleep altogether. Bill and I planned to meet around 8 so that means I have to be up by 6 to enjoy my breakfast, bath, and the selection of today’s outfit. Stripes, maybe?

Read More

You think you know.

It was a day like any other. I got up, jogged, went to school, tried not to sleep in any of my classes, hung out at the office and finished some tasks. When I got home, I flopped on the bed and watched the news. That day had news you hear about any day. A death here, a kidnapping there, a political scandal uncovered, and the “we’re just friends” line given by generic-faced celebrities.

But there was one unusual story. It involved a death by arson and the adopted daughter was the prime suspect. It was the kind of thing you’d read in Agatha Christie’s novels or Sidney Sheldon’s, not the Inquirer or Star. Crimes like grand theft, embezzlement, fraud, and serial killing usually happen in bestseller lists. Pinoy crimes ranged from killing someone who doesn’t know who sang “Nobody But You” to beating each other to a bloody pulp arguing whether Kris Aquino is prettier than Imee Marcos.

What makes this crime interesting is that the suspect was a girl I went to high school with. I didn’t know her personally because she was two batches lower but our school was small so we pretty much knew each other, at least by face. She was the kind of girl who blends in the background and doesn’t make much of a splash. Because she was so forgettable, I had to dig out my old yearbook to check if it was the same girl. It was, but I was still surprised. She wasn’t pretty, but she looked innocent, angelic even. Granted, her photo was taken when she was in fifth grade but it wasn’t the kind of face that would harbor murderous tendencies. Then again, I doubt Jeffrey Dahmer was snarling in his yearbook picture.

It feels weird knowing someone convicted of a major crime. What made it even more interesting was that she didn’t look the part. She didn’t have the face that screamed killer. But who knows? People aren’t always what they seem. It’s like you think you know a person, and boom. She kills a person. Or boom. She has a baby. Or boom. She’s now a man. Human behavior is so fascinating, so contradictory that sometimes it’s downright scary.

In slasher flicks, the killer is usually the quiet one, the girl everyone ignores or the boy the jocks beat up. They’re the ones who stay in the corner, have no personalities and little to no friends. But when they snap, they really snap. Sometimes, they snap other people’s bodies in half. I’m not saying that all silent types are psychopaths, I’m saying people aren’t always what you expect. I know of a boy who doesn’t say much but has the hormones of a rabbit. There’s also the girl who looks like a snob but is actually friendly.

In our Psychological Testing class, we were asked to administer different kinds of tests to the class. Our group got the objective personality test and part of our grade is to score the test and profile each of our classmates. Because of my current fascination with the dark recesses of the inner mind, I made sure to get the answer sheets of the wallflowers. I bet at least one of them has psychopathic or at least unusual tendencies.

It’s the effeminate guy with the gorgeous girlfriend. The mousy girl with a fetish for whips and chains and the party boy who reads Stephen Hawking. In Psychology, I’ve learned not to judge people. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s the sweetest people who have the creepiest minds and the creepiest people who have the sweetest intentions. I think one of the beauties of human nature is its ability to contradict itself. To see beauty radiating out of an unattractive personality or seeing a Brady throw a bitch fit is what makes real life more interesting than TV. Kim Chiu can’t portray this kind of shit.

Hypocrisy At Its Finest

Last night I went out drinking with Kathy and Jane at Jane’s new apartment in BF. She moved last week with our other friend Louise to be closer to school, though I think she moved because most of us live in the village and it’ll be easier to go home drunk when you’re with friends (kidding, Jane). I miss drinking. I miss Nlos, Central, Neighborhood and all those places we used to go to when we want to get hammered. Luckily our schedules are almost the same so we could drink every week again.

Okay, I think the real issue at hand is my return to Blogger. I know I’ve said stuff about the “grass being greener on the other side” but I realized that Blogger is better than the host I tried. It did have its perks like a more organized layout, detailed stats, and a community of bloggers in the dashboard but it did have its letdowns like the CSS. I’m a detail freak so it bothered me a lot that the themes were pretty limited and there weren’t any that I really liked. Most of the themes had fixed widths which really didn’t maximize space. Entries are just in the middle while a lot of space is wasted on the sides. There were custom widths but they weren’t easy on the eyes. You can edit your CSS, but you can only save it if you upgrade your account.

Read More