Asexuality is the new black

In the Philippines, the word bisexual has become a misnomer, commonly referring to gay men who are in the closet regardless of behavior. I think it’s really stupid and what’s worse, because of its proliferation, the true meaning of bisexuality has been buried beneath identical fashion choices and thick layers of makeup.

I always thought I was gay. I haven’t had a girlfriend in years and I thought I would never have one again. I’m not trying to say that I’m going to have one but maybe I would. I think now is the time for me to reveal this little secret. I still get crushes on girls.

Of course I’ve known this all my life. It suddenly swam back to my consciousness last Thursday when Daday, the helper of the Koreans who live across the street told me that one of the Koreans has a huge crush on me. I usually don’t mind when girls like me, thinking it would eventually wear off in the long run. However, on my way to school that day, I was entertaining the notion of having a girlfriend.

The term bisexuality has become so misused that I don’t want to associate myself with it. Instead of calling myself bisexual and having both masculine and feminine genders, I would call myself asexual. I like boys. I like girls. Sometimes I like one over the other. Sometimes I like both at the same time. Sometimes I don’t like either. The politically correct term would be bisexual leaning on homosexual, but what the hey. When have I been politically correct?

Armed with this idea, I was at Emba last Friday with Kathy and the Fashion Flock. Kathy and I were with bff Arvin last Wednesday to interview him for our thesis on eating disorders and who better to interview than my anorexic bff? After the interview, we agreed to go to Emba on Friday. There was actually a mishap that happened when bff Arvin forgot to put Kathy and me on the VIP list but we just paid the door charge and got in. After getting drunk on vodka tonics and Cuba Libres, I thought that I would be intoxicated enough to try my little social experiment. Unfortunately, I ogled more at the guys than the girls. So much for my supposed asexuality.

On my way home this evening after an exhausting day in Mall of Asia filming a project for Social Psychology, I realized that heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality, and in my case asexuality is one and the same. We like boys, girls, both, and neither. The point is, we like people. I believe in destiny, but I also believe that we make our own destiny. I don’t think that our soulmate is pre-ordained and will be brought to us at the right place at the right time. And it doesn’t necessarily have to follow the standards we’ve set. As I’ve said in my previous entry, we choose our soulmates and work for it and fight for it until you are each other’s destinies; regardless of looks, intelligence and ultimately, gender. And that makes us all bisexual. Or in my vocabulary, asexual.

Runaway Bride

Disclaimer: In this entry, all names have been abbreviated to protect the innocent. Namely, me.

I got to talk to my ex, R, who happens to know this guy I know. Anyway, I heard, this guy, A, was recently kicked out of his house by his parents because he was gay. According to R, A’s mom suspected the kid of being gay, and most probably she caught him smuggling guys to his room. Indeed, this seems likely because the bastard can be pretty horny when he wants to.

Anyway, the mom told the dad, and he beat the shit out of A and kicked him out. I think the guy he smuggled (when mommy dearest caught him) was J (not J from previous entries), this good friend of mine. I’m not sure if it’s J, but I’m guessing it is.

Now A is hopping from one house to another. He even asked me last week, but I had to decline because it was my prelims in school, and I had to study. It’s really sad, because he had to be kicked out of his house just for being gay.

I know a lot of people are against homosexuality, and personally, I don’t see why. For me, homosexuality is just a preference for people of the same sex.

That’s just it – a preference. It’s exactly the same as preferring pizza over vegetables. Same with orientation. I prefer guys over girls. Nothing wrong there.

When I talked about my sexuality with my mom and my aunt, I was glad they understood (took some time, but I’m happy they got the hang of having a gay kid). Their initial reaction was disappointment, but at least they were open to my side, unlike A’s parents.

I presented my case (the one mentioned above), and they were mature enough to accept it. Also, I listened to their side and tried my best to understand. For the parents, the hang up of having a gay kid is of course, is ending up with a genetic dead end. But then, hey, there are some straight people who don’t have kids. And I don’t see parents complaining (well not too much) about them.

Until now I don’t get the point of being mad about having a homo as a son. If you can’t accept it, at least tolerate it.

The Miseducation Of Bisexuality

You must know I’ve been bored. So to pass time, I’ve been going through profiles in DowneLink (an online gay community similar to friendster). To tour DowneLink or to create an account, Click Here.

Anyway, it really irritated me to see that most of the Filipino guys there refuses to accept the fact that they’re gay, calling themselves BISEXUAL instead. Bisexualism is the newest trend here in the metro, and sadly, it’s a pathetic misnomer.

Bisexuality is an old term, probably coined by Freud (I forget), which refers to a preference to both the male and female gender. Yes, it’s true that there are REAL bisexual men here in the Philippines, but most of the so-called “bi” here are really gay.

The bisexuals here are under the stupid belief that bisexuality depends on the discretion. In simple terms, they think you’re bisexual if you’re discreet, even if you’re only attracted to people of the same sex. Now that is just STUPID.

Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re instantly effeminate. Being gay means you’re only attracted to guys. You’re not bi because you’re macho. Grow up.

Goodness, I need to fill up my weekdays as well.