On threesomes.

Whoever invented the concept of threesomes is a genius. Imagine, the pleasure of sex multiplied by two. You get an extra mouth, an extra pair of hands, and an extra sex organ to work on you to enhance the sensations. But no one seems to be talking about it, or even acknowledging its presence. In a generation where we are defined by pre-marital sex, one night stands, and children born out of wedlock, what is the position of threesomes in society?

“Sex is good when there is adventure and a threesome doubles the excitement,” Sybil texts me when I ask her thoughts on the subject. She is a very good friend of mine and we talk about the most insightful and trivial things. Sex included. Sybil, a call center agent, is one of my more liberal friends but I was surprised when the girls I asked were just as open to the idea.

Mia, a writer friend, thinks it could be fun. I was shocked because I pegged her as conservative but she readily answered my questions. “I’ve never experienced it but I’m not ruling it out. Also, I think I have to know both of them to feel comfortable and I want two guys with me because I’d probably get so jealous if it were two girls and one guy.”

Sybil said the same thing but she added that if I ask guys, 99.9% of them would prefer two girls. I found the thought interesting so I also texted Syd, our friend who works as a consultant in a firm in Alabang. He called me in the middle of work just to say “I’d prefer two girls because I wouldn’t feel comfortable if a guy’s watching. I won’t get hard.” I also asked Syd if he was open to the idea of a threesome and he said yes, of course. Why? “Because it’s awesome,” he replied, laughing.

Universally, guys seem more open to the idea of threesomes than girls. You’d see this by the number of letters submitted to Playboy and Penthouse (and FHM) on the subject, proving that a threesome is one of a man’s biggest fantasies. My friend Andrew gave a very detailed account of his thoughts on threesomes and he seemed to be really into it. Mia assumes that guys are more receptive to the idea because of society’s double standards. She said that if girls say they want it, people think they’re sluts.

Some of my other friends didn’t agree with the concept of threesomes. Nina, a recent graduate of BS Psychology from a prestigious university said that she’s okay with other people doing it but not her. “I have a really romanticized idea about sex. An objectification of the act would make it less than what it’s supposed to be, which is very intimate.” Another good friend of mine, Effy, agrees with Nina and says that sex is something you share with the one you love. It’s sacred and it’s just between the two of you. I had a brief conversation with Greg, my ex-boyfriend, this afternoon and he said that sex between two people is rowdy enough. I wonder if he meant me.

Alexander, a 22 year old call center agent I met weeks ago seems to have mixed feelings about the idea. “I’m not really open to it but if my partner likes it and it doesn’t hurt me, then go. I know it would affect the relationship but the reason why my partner would seek others is because I’m not enough. So I’ll give them the choice. I just want my partner to be satisfied.”

A threesome between three single people is ideal, but what about couples who participate in threesomes? Sounds weird, but it happens. Sybil is in a relationship and she said that one of them has to be her boyfriend. I wanted to ask her more about this but I think she was already busy. Personally, it takes a lot of guts (and trust) to invite an outsider for a romp in the sheets. An ex-boyfriend once kept dropping hints about having a threesome and I kept saying no. There is the danger of being left out or being betrayed by your partner.

What is this fascination with threesomes? Why are people (secretly) trying to get it? Okay, I’m a bit exaggerating when I said that everyone is into it but what my friends said proves that threesomes aren’t as taboo anymore. Even Nina, who seemed decided against threesomes, used to fantasize about it. She said that she used to imagine what it would be like and feel like. There is also this one guy I met several months ago who seemed to prefer it over regular sex with one person. I asked some of my friends on Tumblr and Twitter and they said that many people like threesomes because it’s fun, exciting, and the idea of having two partners is better than one. Woody Allen was quoted as saying sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.

Of course, I am not a stranger to this phenomenon. My most recent encounter was with the guy I was telling you about, the one obsessed with threesomes. We dated for a bit and he managed to convince me to participate in a little ménage à trois action. So he picks me up and we head to his friend’s place, who I didn’t know. I had no idea who he was, what he looked like, and what he does (which is a disadvantage, if you ask me). So we show up at his friend’s place and I was surprised to see that the guy was from my school. Even worse, he was a professor from my school. I freaked out and left. I was severely traumatized and vowed never to participate in threesomes unless I knew everyone involved.

Candace Bushnell once wrote that threesomes are a sexual variant instead of a sexual deviance, and I agree with it wholeheartedly, in spite of what happened. Threesomes can be fun if no strings are attached or if you’re the outsider. It’s definitely something everybody should try, or at least think about, because as they say, two heads are better than one (if you know what I mean).


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